This post lifts a glass for folks who don't necessarily have family they can celebrate with, or who find themselves on their own during these end of the year events of whatever flavor. Being in that situation myself for many years, I'm looking at the pros and cons, and finding that there are lots of pros.
It's apocryphal that humans do better in families: live longer, happier lives as husbands or wives, feel they've done their thing if they've had kids, etc. Could be scientifically proven, too, but for now, I'll stick with the storytelling aspect of things.
Sometimes, it's kinda cool to be alone.
Now, I won't say it's true all the time. It's especially tough because society, here in Japan, is all about the couple/family. Apparently, there isn't much point to existence if it's an existence on one's own, especially not as a female. As a woman, if you're too 'whatever' to attract someone else (pretty much always the opposite sex in the media here), you are but a Christmas cake (older female past sell-by date, etc). I'm not into Christmas cake in any case, but being compared to an old crusty one with the rock hard fruit bits: yuck!
The media perpetuates the worst of the human tribal stereotype, just about everywhere. But, in real people's lives, things are changing.
There are a lot of Japanese women fighting back against that stereotype. Now, some are doing it in ways that give me pause: spending their alone time and their considerable disposable income on super consumeritis, shoe obsessions (they do not throw them here:-), the latest weight-loss fad, etc. But at least there's some openness to the idea that one's self worth isn't necessarily based on whether a man sees that worth or not. That's a big change from when I moved here almost 12 years ago.
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So, if you know you won't be participating in lots of family festivities, that you'll be home alone some or most of the time, what are some positive things to do? These are not in order of preference: just some things I've done in the past and will no doubt do again this year:
Walk. Seriously. Not necessarily for diet or weight loss, but just to look around and breathe. Take your time, bundle up (if needed) and meander. It's especially nice doing that here when the familied have gone to their hometowns, and the streets are quiet and clean. You can see buildings, birds, signs and trees that you never notice in the crowds. If I lived in the country, I'd probably still walk, but in a different route from my normal one. Take a camera if you like: I prefer to use the one in my head as this walk is just for me.
Onsen, or sauna, or some kind of immersion in hot water: I'm heading to a friend's during some part of the hols, and plan to find the neighborhood sento, or bathhouse: for about $4.00, it'll be a chance to do some serious soaking. There's something about that experience that is lovely in its solitariness: highly recommended!
Feed somebody/something: I'm going to pick up sandwiches and coffee for the homeless folks who live at our big train station, bag them up and give them out. And try to add a smile to it, although their situations make me want to cry. Humans, animals: feed somebody in need.
The joy of soup: I'm looking forward to making some things I'm usually too busy to deal with: just-the-right-size pot of tomato soup and whole wheat ham & pizza cheese sandwiches. And a tangerine or 3 for dessert. yum!
Hot Chocolate: I love, love, love the way they made it in Barcelona and the way they make it at tlg's restaurant here, so I am going to make sure I go have some: melted good chocolate, pure whipped cream: yes yes y'all!
Fix stuff around the apartment: so, I lost my bike key (somewhere in my tiny place, which is infuriating). And I misread the Japanese text on what I thought was the warranty, went to the wrong bike shop. grrr. So, I decided to just take the old lock off and use a different one. Procrastinated because I thought I wouldn't be able to figure it out. Forced myself to try anyway, despite the defeatist inner dialog. Did it! Very happy to be riding again.
Read: now, I do this anyway. But, I'm working through some books that will be better read all the way through, with real concentration, and what better time to do that than during the off time. Some of my current reading list (which contains, I'm afraid, multitudes):
Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School. very well-written, and full of interesting background on the brain (excellent gift, thank you!)
Small Is Beautiful: Economics as if People Mattered: I am determined to read this damn book: been getting through half of it for years. It's not that I don't appreciate it, it's that my attention slides away: yet I know it's important material to understand, especially as our economic situation goes through drastic changes.
We the Media: Grassroots Journalism By the People, For the People: it's a little bit old (2006), but it sets out the changing terms of engagement for journalism, in light of new media.
Wikinomics: How Mass Collaboration Changes Everything: haven't started on this yet - it has been on my list for a while.
Countless PDFs on marketing, media, technology: with the added time, I can get through one or two of these a day and toss. Free up hard drive space.
Lots of stuff in my Read It Later(the Firefox extension) folder. These next two weeks are 'later'.
Lots of TED videos: sometimes I find the presenters entirely too precious - but sometimes there are truly moving presentations, like this one by Majora Carter on urban renewal.
Wow, this went on longer than I expected - if you're contentedly on your own, you may want to share what you're planning to do and add some words of encouragement to folks who need it.
Enjoy yourself!
